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Chatan looked up at the swiftly gathering storm clouds. He
realized that the dark was coming fast and he would not make it to the village
before the storm hit. A cold wind lifted his hair as he watched lightning
flicker in the onrushing clouds.
Chatan had already spent a fruitless day hunting in the
forest, and the coming of the sudden storm heightened his frustration. With not
even a single rabbit to show for the days work, he prepared to spent a cold and
hungry night outside.
A closely growing stand of trees offered some protection
from the icy cold raindrops that were already beginning to lash his skin.
Chatan took cover under the dense foliage just as the last light disappeared
from the sky. He settled down against the trunk and attempted to get comfortable.
A lightning flash reflected from something white underneath
Chatan’s tree, drawing his attention. He reached forward to pick it up, feeling
cold smoothness and odd indentations. Another flash of light brought him
face-to-face with the skull in his hand.
Chatan screamed, threw the skull, and ran out from under the
tree into the woods. Seeing a light up ahead, he made a beeline for it. He
paused at the edge of the tree line and studied the sweat lodge in the
clearing. Worried and uncertain, he slunk toward the building.
Peering inside the sweat lodge’s door, Chatan saw two men
talking. The inhabitants of the sweat lodge, feeling someone’s gaze upon them,
looked toward the door and saw Chatan in the radiance of the flickering
lightning. They also saw what was behind Chatan.
Still filled with fear and adrenaline, Chatan became
convinced that he was seeing ghosts within the sweat lodge, not flesh and blood
men. He decided to go back into the woods and attempt the walk back to his
village in the dark.
Chatan had been walking for several minutes when he sensed
someone walking beside him. He looked over and saw a ghostly woman at his side.
She told him to not be afraid, that she only wanted company for the moment.
Exhausted into numbness from the constant rush of terror, Chatan continued to
walk at a modest pace.
He soon began to relax in the ghost’s presence, forgetting
his fear. That was a mistake. The apparition turned on Chatan without warning,
and began to choke the life from him. He clawed at her bony fingers as he
fought for breath, and stared at the skull of his spectral attacker. The same
skull that he’d found under the tree.
The ghost was ripped away from Chatan and thrown to the
ground. Gasping for breath, he looked up to see his the two men from the sweat
lodge beating up the spirit woman. The drove the phantom off and saved him.
Later, the two men explained to Chatan that they had followed
him after he ran. They knew that they had to save him. While he’d stood in the
door of the sweat lodge and looked in, the lightning had shown them them the
skeleton-like ghost as it stalked Chatan from the trees.
Author's Note: The story, The Ghost and the Traveler, is about a traveler who was out of doors, and a storm came up that forced him to spend the night outside. He came to a sweat lodge, but he thought the two people inside were ghosts, so he ran away. As he was walking, a woman ghost walked with him for a ways. After wondering what would happen if the ghost decided to choke him, the ghost disappeared. I wanted to do a variation on this story that had some action. I wanted the ghost to actually be a threat and to attack the man as he traveled. I also thought it would be fitting if he ended up being saved from the actual ghost by the men in the sweat lodge that he'd thought were ghosts. My character's name, Chatan, is a Lakota name that means Hawk.
Bibliography: Myths and Legends of the Great Plains by Katharine Berry Judson. Web Source.
Hi Nancy! This was a great retelling of the original story! It was a nice, easy read. I liked the changes you made, especially by having the men in the sweat lodge save Chatan from the ghost. I wonder if the ghost woman attacked Chatan because she felt he attacked her first by throwing her skull? Either way, Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Nancy!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading this story it gave me goosebumps! You included such detail in the story that it created such a vivid image of that stormy night. I felt as if I was truly there with Chatan. The fact that this story was also about ghosts made it even more eerie. You did a great job retelling the story and also using your own imagination and extending the story.